Being the “Winner” in Divorce: Is There Such a Thing?

Torn paper with the word divorceSome people go through a divorce with the intention of winning or “beating” their spouse. This misguided thinking, however, can make the process more stressful and exhausting. This is because it could mean spending too much, hurting the other person, and prolonging healing.

If this is your intention, keep in mind that there is rarely a true winner in the settlement. While one party could get custody of the children or more money, no one is actually a true winner in divorce. Remember that there are some issues you need to settle in the process, and you cannot be favored in all of them and leave your spouse with nothing.

Family law attorneys from Law Office of Gordon N. Shayne in Colorado Springs, CO, note that you have to settle issues, such as child custody and support, alimony, and property division.

Losing and Compromising

While divorce might feel like a war, it is not something you win or lose. This is because both parties can lose something they don’t want to in the process.

You, for instance, could get custody of the kids but will receive less of what you requested in alimony. Each party will have to compromise and work with lawyers, mediators, or judges to determine a settlement that works best for both.

The Negative Consequences

If you intend to win and are willing to take the divorce into a full-blown battle, you will have to face a number of consequences. This is because you will have to spend more time, money and effort.

Your children will also most likely be negatively affected, especially if both parents argue or use the kids as pawns. This can also make the process more damaging for them.

You Cannot Have it All

If you are in the process of a divorce and hate the other party, don’t let your emotions govern your decision. While you don’t have to be nice to your spouse, it is better to treat them with respect at least and learn how to negotiate and compromise.

Keep in mind that you cannot have all the things you want and leave the other party with nothing or too little. Winning it all should not be your main objective in a divorce.

It is best to focus on the things that matter and in getting a fresh start. Seek help from an experienced divorce or family lawyer to guide you throughout the process.